Illawarra Train Buff Club Inc. |
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All the characters portrayed are
creatures of the author's imagination and bear no relationship to any living
person. All places, residences and organisations are non-existent
inventions.
Hi Chums..... Sorry it's taken so long for this letter to arrive, but I've been just so busy. As you probably realise I have relocated (with my special friend) to Fagtree. After months of renovations we have converted the cubby house to our new headquarters. Our first meeting in our new club house was a great success and was attended by all the regulars and a few new members... Choo Choo was the first to arrive with his special friend Speedo Boy. They had decided to take care of the catering and were busy setting up the fairy bread and pink lemondade. Next to turn up was Beachball who decided to wait until more people had arrived before making his special announcement that he was going to be a CountryLink driver, then he proceeded to eat all the fairy bread. Captain Kaos turned up and threw away all the pink lemonade, then proceeded with much excitement to wheel in his new drink machine which now sits proudly in the corner of the club house. The Sook then turned up with a carton of his special iced tea in brown bottles - he must have been very dehydrated from his long trip down the coast because he drank 6 in quick succession. He was last seen talking to one of our new members - Humphrey - who was concerned about the new drug testing policy and his prozac habit. The Sook explained to him that his special tea was a diuretic and would flush the drug from his system. They then proceeded to drink lots of tea together and were seen goose stepping and ranting in German. By this time things were getting a bit hectic as ever one else turned up and it was hard to get a parking spot. Luckily Mr Twats turned up with his white gloves and proceeded to direct traffic in an orderly fashion. Decka turned up in his Ghostbuster car which his new friend and new member SpadCam. Apparently he had volunteered to drive the Ghostbuster mobile after claiming it was easy to drive. He did have a few minor incidents on the way down however causing several accidents and running at least 3 red lights. It was about this time that Hopeless turned up and we decided that as it was a warm and balmy summer night that we should have the meeting outside in the fresh air. We passed around our photos from our previous yowie search excursion and Mr Peahen gave us all photography tips on getting our f-stops correct with the right exposure settings. One of many phones started ringing and as I was busy SpadCam answered it claiming it was easy to answer a phone are breaking 3 of them. I decided to answer the next call myself. It was from another new member - the Proctologist - who couldn't be there because he was on a ballast train on the way up from Bombo. We made a unanimous decision to meet him at Conniston to go for a ride on a real train because we get really excited over things like that! We all managed to fit in the Ghostbuster mobile and seeing as the Sook was unconscious we put him in the boot with Hopeless. SpadCam drove again and went through 3 red lights to get there. I think he must have been in a hurry! When we were in the car Beachball said he has something important to say and then announced he was going to be a CountryLink driver. When we arrived and opened the boot the Sook had vomitted all over Hopeless who said he didn't mind because he couldn't smell it anyway. The Sook was last seen heading to Conno pub to get some special medicine to make him feel better. We all boarded the train although it was a bit cramped in the cabin of a 47 class, but I didn't mind the close contact. I suggested to my special friend that he should site in the fireman's seat but he said he would rather stand as he has a sore bottom anyway. One of our new members - the Marlborough Man - who's a driver trainer from Cronulla, suggested that as SpadCam seemed to be having such a bad day he should drive and he could instruct him. After having passed 3 red signals before getting to Wollongong Yard we decided that maybe the Missing Link should have a go. He managed to pass another 2 red signals before we got off at Thirroul leaving the Proctologist and his mate visibly shaken. Hopeless came to Thirroul in the Ghostbuster mobile to pick us up as we had decided that there wasn't enough room in the 47 class cab for one more. As we were driving back down the highway we passed another member - the 300 Year Old Man - who was on a trip around Australia. He was broken down. We asked if he needed any help but he explained that it was only a polarity reversal on the energy polariser creating a blow past on the modulator relay valve and he would have it fixed in no time. Mr Peahen said he had some mechanical knowledge and suggested that he had run out of petrol. We decided to leave when the 300 Year Old Man got cranky and said he knew more about cars than everyone else combined. Perhaps he needed some of the Sook's special medicine who still hadn't been seen since Conno pub? After returning to the club house we all went out seperate ways except me and my special friend who decided to do some shunting. There will be another meeting and outing next month and anyone interested can call me on one of my remaining phone.
JOHN DAVIDSON
PRESIDENT
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You are voyeur #
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