The Common-Garden Guide to Grues

(or, how to identify your next-door grue)

Written by Craig Dewick

"Grue" is the name given to a strange family of animal species that we know little about. There are four known species in this family, although reported sitings of similar looking animals indicate that there may have been up to seven species at one time. The animal is strictly nocturnal, and as such grues are very difficult to find and study. The facts known about grues are presented here for your reference.

There is an unknown factor surrounding many disappearances of people from groups without any trace when visiting underground structures. Reports from the few people who survived such attacks and were able to notice anything of note seem to indicate that grue-like creatures were involved in the act either directly or indirectly.

As grues are nocturnal, they cannot be found during daylight hours, or at night where there is a light source. Grues are known to venture onto the planet's surface foraging to food during darkness. Reported sitings of this behaviour are few and far between.

The other puzzling aspect of grues is there apparent ability to mould themselves into the fabric of whatever environment they are in when they are disturbed. This probably explains why they are hardly ever seen.

To find a grue, turn off the light at night, or go for a walk in a dark place (but carry a flashlight with you). Do not stay in one location for too lone, as grues have a habit of appearing unannounced, as do drop-bears.

As far as food goes, well, anything that is stupid enough to venture into a dark place will do! Many people have been known to perish after being eaten by a grue during Infocom adventure game sessions.

In undisturbed habitats, grues are reported to reproduce with startling speed, and the metabolism is around five times that of birds. This would account for their ravenous behaviour.

Here is a list of terms associated with grues:

GREW: A larger, more solidly built variation of the standard grue. This one is known in folklore to have been more agressive, yet not as intelligent or agile as the standard species. This species has been recorded as being extinct for three hundred and twenty years prior to 1994, and there have been no reported sitings since this time.
GROO: Similar to the standard grue, although this variety was known to prefer owls as food over other sources. Recorded as being extinct.
GROOVE: The sound made be the previous type of grue used to entice their favourite food to venture close enough to be captured.
GRU: A smaller, more intelligent variation of the standard grue. Renowned for being very difficult to find and study in ancient folklore. Not recorded as being extinct, although there have been no sitings in recent decades.
GRUE: The standard form of this type of animal, of which many still survive in underground places.
GROOB: A cross between a grue and a drop-bear. Late last century a standard grue and a drop-bear were enticed to mate in a (dark) lab in the basement of a local zoo, and the groob was the result. Unfortunately, it's parents got hungry, and ate the baby groob before anything else could be recorded about it.
GRUEL: Grues fighting over some food.
GRUELLING: A baby grue, obviously a difficult child!
GRUESOME: A collection of grues. Usually rather frightening to see.

So there you have it. Any contributions to this guide are welcome.

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